


Vires et Honestas

by Dysclexic



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: 3 am talks, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, boys talking about their feelings, justin's tattoos hehe, pretty sure Alex's brother is named Peter, teen angst man
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-25
Updated: 2017-04-25
Packaged: 2018-10-23 17:50:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10724235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dysclexic/pseuds/Dysclexic
Summary: The other boy’s tattoos stood out starkly against his white skin. The one across his chest stood out to Alex even more than the others.Vires et honestas?“Strength and honor.” Justin translated. Alex gave a start. Did he say that out loud? He felt himself blush though Justin didn’t seem to mind that Alex had been looking.Alex felt himself nod.  “I like it.”Justin flashed him a little smile and Alex almost melted. That damn smile.---aka Justin needs shelter and finds himself on the Standall's doorstep once again.





	Vires et Honestas

“Alex, can you get off that thing and come help set the table?” Mr. Standall snapped at his son.

"Yes, sir." Alex sighed out automatically as he locked his phone and got up from his comfortable perch on the couch. His dad always got stressed when people came over, even if it was just his brother. He was rounding the corner of the living room when the doorbell rang.

"Damnit, he's here." His father cursed.

“I’ll get it.” Alex called as he headed for the front door.

He mentally braced himself for a comment about his lack of muscles or whatever insult his brother would come up with, but all those thoughts vanished as he opened the door. A very tired looking teen was standing on his doorstep, a large duffle bag swung over his shoulders. Alex blinked. It wasn't just any teenager; it was none other than Justin Foley.

"Foley." He greeted dumbly.

Justin tried to smile, but it looked more like a grimace. "Hey, Standall.” he said quietly.

Alex didn't even need to ask why he was on his doorstep, instead he just stepped aside.

"Thanks." Justin murmured.

"Alex! Peter! Stop dawdling and sit down for dinner!" Mr. Standall came out of the kitchen holding some plates. His stern expression morphed into one of surprise when he saw the exhausted teen. "Oh! Justin, right? We weren't expecting you."

"Hi, Mr. Standall, sir. I'm really sorry about this... um…" Justin struggle to think of an excuse that wouldn't reveal his embarrassing family situation. He was too exhausted for this. His brain was failing him.

"I totally forgot about this project we have. It’s due tomorrow..." Alex came to his rescue. Justin shot the other boy a grateful glance.

Mr. Standall raised an eyebrow but didn't question it further. "Well, Justin, you're just in time for Easter dinner!" He said turning back to Justin.

"Oh, it's okay sir, I don't want to inconvenience you. I can just wait until you're don-" Justin started to protest.

"Nonsense! We've got room for one more! Put that bag down and come on in!" Mr. Standall said as he walked back into the kitchen. Justin followed Alex’s dad into the house and looked around. Where was he supposed to put his bag? As if reading his mind, Alex’s voice floated from behind him.

“Just dump your bag wherever.”

Justin tossed his duffle-bag on the couch and then proceeded to stand awkwardly at the table, unsure what to do.

"Uh, can I help you with anything, Mr. Standall?" He asked the tall man who was standing in the kitchen digging through the silverware drawer.

“No, no, Alex and I have got it. You take a seat.”

Justin sat down reluctantly and watched his hosts bustle around. He felt bad and wanted to help so he wasn’t just sitting there, but Mr. Standall had told him to sit.

–clunk- Alex reached over him and plopped a platter of steaming ham down in the center of the table. It looked delicious. Justin felt his mouth water and then scolded himself. What was he, a dog? Pathetic.

"Where is your brother? He's late." Mr. Standall huffed, more to himself than his son. He turned to Justin and smiled good naturedly. “Oh well, we do have a special guest. We can start without him.”

The other two joined their guest at the table and started to serve themselves. Justin resisted the urge to abandon his utensils and just shove the food in his mouth with his hands. He was starving, but he didn't want Mr. Standall thinking he had been raised by wolves and never let him stay here again. He looked around as his hosts ate. It was so peaceful here. It was weird actually sitting down to a family dinner. He couldn't remember the last time that had occurred at his house. He shoved those thoughts away, no need to depress yourself more, he told himself. He turned back to his food and focused on the slices of ham. He felt someone's knee knock into him and looked up. Alex met his eyes and looked away quickly as if embarrassed. Time marched on as Mr. Standall contented himself with rambling about sports and other things he considered 'manly' while Alex looked increasingly uncomfortable. Justin answered politely when cued and offered his opinions when asked, but for the first time, he wasn't really interested in talking about sports. He was more focused on Alex. Alex refused to meet his gaze but unless it was the lighting, it looked like he was blushing. They were interrupted when the doorbell rang again. “Alex, can you get that?” Mr. Standall asked through a mouthful of salad.

“Yes, sir.” Alex replied politely. The blond stood up and trudged to the front hall.

“Hey, freak!” A loud jovial voice sounded. There was a loud scuffle which was followed by Alex protesting, “Peter, cut it out!”

The two boys stumbled in, the taller one had Alex trapped in a headlock. Alex pummeled at him, but to no avail.

“Peter, you’re late.” Mr. Standall sighed, trying to look stern.

“Sorry, Dad. I got held up. Looks like you’re still eating dinner though.”

Mr. Standall just shook his head, smiling, and beckoned him over. “Get on in here.”

Peter grinned, let go of Alex, and gave him a hearty slap on the back, which sent the skinny teen stumbling. Alex rolled his eyes and returned to his seat. Mr. Standall turned his attention to Peter and started conversing with him. Justin sighed, relieved to not be the center of his attention anymore.

Finally, dinner was over the Standalls started to clean up.

"Can I help you clean?" Justin asked, not wanting to look rude.

"Oh no, you and Alex should work on your project." Mr. Standall grabbed the plates from Alex. "No, Alex, go work with your friend. Your brother and I will clean up."

"Yes, sir." Alex shuffled over to Justin. The boys retrieved Justin's stuff and headed upstairs. Once they were in Alex's room, Justin put his stuff down on the floor and turned to the other boy. "Again, thanks a lot, man. You're a lifesaver."

"It's really no big deal." Alex replied. They stared at each other for a solid few seconds but Alex was the first to look away. He ran a hand through his hair. Justin wondered when he'd decided to dye it and what he'd look like with brown hair.

“So, how are we gonna do this?” Justin asked, trying to make it less awkward. Unfortunately, his question had the exact opposite effect.

“Uh…” Alex uttered, looking around. Maybe the living room couch? But wait, Justin's stuff was already up here. That would be awkward to make him take it all the way back downstairs.

“I can just sleep on the floor.” Justin suggested.

“No, no. That’s… weird. We can just, I don’t know, share the bed?”

Justin raised an eyebrow. “You consider that less weird than me sleeping on the floor?”

Alex glared at the other teen. “Well, what would you suggest?”

Justin raised his hands up in mock surrender. “I was just messing with you. Jesus, don’t get your panties in a twist.”

Alex huffed and stared at the floor. “Okay, well I’m going to go get changed.” He said after a beat.

Justin turned and made himself at home at Alex’s desk chair and watched as the other teen crossed his room to his closet. After picking out a t-shirt, Alex started to pull off the shirt he had on, but stopped abruptly. He turned and eyed Justin accusingly.

“Do you mind?”

Justin realized he had been staring and looked away quickly, his ears heating up. “Sorry.” He muttered. Alex turned back around and shrugged his shirt off. Justin felt his gaze wander back over to the blond. Damn, he was skinny. And so, so pale. A hickey would look lovely on- _wait what?_ Justin glared at the floor.

“Okay. Just turn the light off when you’re ready to sleep.” Alex said as he climbed into his bed. He got out his phone, some headphones, and didn’t speak again.

Justin sighed and got up to get ready for bed. It was only about 9 PM. Pretty early to be going to bed, though Alex didn’t look like he was going to sleep any time soon. Justin yanked his shirt off and rummaged through his duffle bag. He usually went to sleep shirtless, but he didn’t want to make Alex uncomfortable.

Alex heard Justin rustling through his stuff and looked up. He did a double take. Justin Foley was in his room. Shirtless. He stared. Alex didn’t know whether he wanted Justin’s abs or if he wanted to run his hands down them. Both. The other boy’s tattoos stood out starkly against his white skin. The one across his chest stood out to Alex even more than the others.

_Vires et honestas?_

“Strength and honor.” Justin translated. Alex gave a start. Did he say that out loud? He felt himself blush though Justin didn’t seem to mind that Alex had been looking.

Alex felt himself nod. “I like it.”

Justin flashed him a little smile and Alex almost melted. That damn smile. The brunet turned back around and after a few more seconds found what he was looking for and slipped the shirt on, much to Alex’s disappointment.

Justin slipped into bed with Alex and turned the lights off. Usually he didn’t go to bed until more like midnight, but it had been a stressful night and he just wanted to sleep and forget about his problems for a little while. He closed his eyes and fell asleep listening to Alex’s quiet breathing.

 

* * *

 

Justin woke with a start. He wasn’t sure what woke him. He reached over and felt for his phone. Feeling its familiar smooth rectangular shape, he picked it up and was immediately blinded. “Ow, fuck.” He muttered. 3:15 AM. _Fucking hell._ What did he have to do to get a decent night’s sleep? Doctors say you’re supposed to get a full 8 hours of sleep. Justin snorted. Bullshit. He was lucky if he got 5. It was then that he realized there was an absence of breath from the other side of the bed.

“Alex?”

Justin turned put the phone down and flipped over. He was met with an empty space, the bedsheets crumpled near the foot of the bed. “Alex!” he hissed, looking around.

It was hard to make out anything. He reached over and turned the bedside lamp on. Light flooded the room, momentarily blinding him again. He opened his eyes and looked around. The room was empty. He considered just rolling over and going back to sleep, but anxiety got the better of him. Ever since Hannah, he had become extremely wary and paranoid about this sort of thing. If Alex was lying dying somewhere and he just went back to bed, he wouldn’t be able to live with himself. Not again. Not after Hannah. What if Alex had locked himself in the bathroom and… This thought spurred him to jump out of bed and run into the hall to the bathroom. He felt relief wash over him when he saw it was open. Then where the hell was Alex? He felt weird walking through his not-enemy-but-not-exactly-friend’s house at 3 AM, but he just needed to make sure Alex was okay. He went back Alex’s room to grab his jacket and then crept downstairs, thinking of excuses to offer if he ran into Mr. Standall or Peter. Downstairs was quite dark and he had to focus on not tripping down the stairs.

“Alex!” he whisper-shouted.

Only silence answered him. Unease clawed at his chest. He made it to the final step and headed for the kitchen. Maybe Alex was having a post-post-post-midnight snack or some shit. Nope. The kitchen was as dark as the rest of the house. Just as he was about to go back upstairs and see if he could call the other boy’s phone, something white in the front’ door’s window caught his eye. He tip-toed into the front hall and peeked out. Alex was sitting on the doorstep, he was hunched over, curled in on himself. Justin allowed himself a breath of relief and slowly opened the door. Alex’s blond head immediately whipped around and he scrambled up. Relief flashed through his eyes when he saw it wasn’t his father, but it was soon replaced with suspicion. “What do you want?” he asked warily.

Justin shrugged. “I woke up and you weren’t there.”

Alex wiped his nose and sneered. “What are you, my wife?”

Justin ignored Alex’s hostility. “What are you doing out here, man?”

“Why do you care?”

“Because you’re my friend.” Justin tried a different tactic.

Alex’s eyes widened a fraction and he seemed to deflate. He let out a deep sigh and sat back down again. “We’re not friends.” He muttered. Justin ignored that comment, closed the front door and sat down next to him. The two boys sat in awkward silence for a few minutes. Alex shivered and clutched his stupid, thin, cardigan sweater thing closer to him. Justin felt a stab of sympathy for some reason and shrugged off his varsity jacket.

“Here, doofus.” He said, holding it out to Alex.

Alex glared at him. “I’m not a girl.”

“Just take it, before you get frostbite or some shit.”

Alex rolled his eyes at Justin’s exaggeration but tentatively accepted the jacket.

“Better?” Justin asked, ignoring the goosebumps that immediately formed on his arms.

“I guess.” Alex said grudgingly.

The two sat in silence once more, watching the dark, quiet street. Time became nonexistent. Justin blinked into the darkness, appreciating the moment and thought maybe he should do this more often. It felt nice to take a break from the chaos of life. Finally, he was able to breathe. It was like he and Alex were the only two human beings that were left on the planet. Two not-exactly-friends against the world. And for a short, blissful moment, everything was okay.

“Can I ask you a question?” Alex asked suddenly, breaking the spell.

Justin was startled out of his reverie. “Hm?”

“What’s it like to not hate yourself?”

Justin turned to look at the blond in surprise. “Huh?”

Alex didn’t wait for a proper answer. “My dad… he was so relieved when you showed up on our doorstep the last time, because I finally seemed to have a male friend.”

Justin stayed silent and let him continue.

“When I started dating Jessica, he was ecstatic. When I got into that fight with Montgomery, he wasn’t even mad that I got in trouble at school. He was proud that I stood up for myself. That I was ‘manly’.” Alex said the last word with scorn and wiped at his nose again.

“And that time I went like 50 over the speed limit, he was just happy I had the guts to break the law. He’s so obsessed with masculinity and I’m just… not...” The words came spilling out of him and they wouldn’t stop.

“I’m never going to be what he wants me to be. This ultimate macho man he’s got pictured in his head. The kind of guy Peter is. The kind of guy _he_ is. But that look of disappointment he gets on his face when I don’t meet his expectations… it kills me. I hate looking in the mirror because I… hate what I see.”

Justin hadn’t expected him to open up this much and hadn’t thought of a proper response.

“Sorry, that was stupid.” Alex shook his head, looking embarrassed and moved to stand up, but Justin reached out a hand and stopped him.

“Wait, no. It wasn’t stupid. I get it.” Alex halted and waited for him to go on.

“I’m not the biggest fan of myself either. I know I act like hot shit and that I don’t care, but… I do. Too much probably. And your dad's ideas? Bullshit. Parents need to understand that their children aren’t _them_. You shouldn’t let him tell you how to live your life because sometimes… it isn’t the best thing to be just like your parents…” he trailed off. Alex was looking at him curiously. Justin squirmed under his gaze until the blond turned his attention back to the empty street. Justin looked down and played with a fray in his jeans. The two boys sat in companionable silence, and for once, they were each happy that the other was there.

“Can I ask you another question?” Alex asked again.

“Shoot.”

“What happens at home that’s so… bad that you have to basically run away?”

Justin stiffened. He was not expecting that. He glared half-heartedly. “Not really any of your business, Standall.” He regretted the words as soon as they came out of his mouth. He didn’t mean them. In fact, he needed someone to talk to. Not Bryce anymore, that was for fucking sure.  
But it had been so long since someone actually listened to him.

Alex visibly recoiled. “Okay, sorry. I was just wondering.” He sighed and went to stand up. Justin cursed himself and then reached up to grab Alex for the second time that night. He grabbed at any part of the other boy he could reach to make him stay, which happened to be his hand. After Alex had gotten over the initial shock at the sudden contact, he slipped his hand out of Justin’s grasp. He looked down expectantly. “No, I’m sorry. Please, stay.” Justin said, his voice was the softest Alex had heard it. Alex slowly sat back down.

Justin turned away and stared at the neighbor’s magazine perfect white picket fence. He wondered what went on in that house. Was it as perfect as it looked on the outside? He let out a breath, unable to look Alex in the eyes.

“My mom’s boyfriend…”

The other teen waited patiently for him to go on.

“Seth. Meth Seth as Bryce and I called him.” He laughed humorously. “He’s a real asshole, as if the name ‘Meth Seth’ isn’t explanation enough. I don’t know what my mom sees in him.”

He shut his eyes. He couldn’t do this. Suddenly he felt pressure on his knee. He looked down and saw Alex had placed it there comfortingly. He met the blond’s cerulean blue eyes. “Tell anyone about this and I’ll kick your ass.” He threatened. Alex just nodded.

“Okay. Seth… he… has some problems. Like anger problems or something. He drinks too, so that makes them worse. Especially at night. He gets… physical.” Justin ground out. Alex’s eyebrows furrowed and he said what Justin couldn’t bring himself to say out loud.

“Justin… does he… hit you?”

Justin felt his eyes water. He managed to nod. He felt Alex’s gaze on him but couldn’t meet it. The other teen didn’t say anything for a bit. _Please say something._ Justin thought. Alex finally complied.

“Justin, my dad’s a cop... I can _help_ you.”

Justin shook his head. “No, no. That would be embarrassing. I can handle it.”

“Running away from home all the time doesn’t sound like handling it…” Alex pointed out.

Justin glared daggers at the other boy but he quickly dropped it and stared at the sidewalk. The only reason he got mad was because Alex was right.

“My mom… I love her. Well I think I do...” He went on shakily. “But when he was choking me, she didn’t do a thing to stop him...”

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Alex’s eyes widen in alarm at the word ‘choking’. Justin could feel a sob barreling its way up his chest and tried to push it down. “The only thing she said was ‘Seth, don’t, the lady next door will hear and call the cops.’ It was like… that was the only thing she was worried about. Not that he was hurting her kid. No. And even afterwards, I called out to her and she turned away. The _one_ time I asked her for help… I _needed_  her and she wasn’t there.” Justin felt something wet on his cheeks. To his horror, tears were spilling down his face. He reached up and scrubbed furiously at his eyes. “Seriously, Standall. Tell anyone and you’re dead.” To his surprise, Alex’s eyes were watering too.

“Our lives suck, huh.” Alex said with a dry laugh.

“Damn right.”

They sat there in silence, save for a few sniffs. Once Justin was sure he wasn’t going to start bawling like a baby, he looked up and met Alex’s gaze. They were extremely close now. If Justin wanted to, he could lean over and kiss Alex right on the lips. So he did.

**Author's Note:**

> so yeah this fic was supposed to be released closer to Easter.. oops.. My first fic in this fandom and my first fic in a long time actually! I may write more, I may not, who knows :)
> 
> (also does Alex's family celebrate Easter? I feel like they would? *shrugs*)


End file.
